Lord, Show me Your way

Tell me what's right, what's wrong. Tell me which is true, which is fake. Teach me how to make a decision. Teach me how to sure that I'm in the right way. Sometimes I just feel so tired, lot of things that tiring me, made me feel so lost, but I know you're always there for me. Please show me your way in my life. I need it to be my guide line. Sometimes I'm feeling depressed, everything seems to be the matters that may blow up my mind. Sometimes I might feel not myself, just like a doll, have no spirit inside and do things aimlessly. Every of this just make me feel so tired and tiring me always. I may wish to cry hard just to vent it out, but it seems so hard to me. I can't cry in front of my staff, they may think I'm weak and useless; I can't cry in front of my family, they may worried and I can't give them a reason; i can't cry in front of my friends, even ya they also can't help in any. I may wish to cry when I'm alone. It's need to be release out from me, but I just found it so hard. I come to you in silence, but You know what's wrong with me. I may can't tell what happen with me, but You know everything. You know my weakness, You know me well. When I can't speak in tongue, when I keep in silent, I come before you, You know what I need, You know what I want to tell. When everything blowing me up, Lord, please bring me to you. I found peace when I come to you, You comforted me. I need You so much! I am just not myself when I am without You. You made the real me, You build the whole me. Every time I come before You, You just let me feel free, You just take off all my burden. All I need to do is just stay beside You, listen to Your words and live it out. Lord, thank You for always being there for me whenever I need or I don't. Lord, please tell me Your plan in my life and be with me always, I can't work it out by myself but with You. Lord please lead me, guide me, tell me what to do next. I will and I can do it by the strength You've given me. Thank You Lord for everything. Amen!

~~Clear~~

Hmmm~~ Sometimes.. It's just very easy to love someone.. But when you want to leave.. You'll found that's so hard...

I love someone so much before.. I really do.. When I know that we are not longer could be together.. I'm been hurt... Really hurt so so deep... I choose to leave... But it is too hard for me..

Somehow.. When I know that he is still loving me... I'm really really happy.. We just like back to before.. The way we talk are just same as before... I'm thinking that we still have chance.. Can be together just like before... But I totally did not expect that he will hurt me the second times... Actually he had hurt me three times... Hmm... He say... I love you.. But we really cannot be together.. I could not understand... He say we can't be together.. Why still want to tell me that he still love me.. I really can't understand... He say.. Hope I can found a nicer boyfriend.. Okay! Don't he know that I love him very very much?! Whatever...

My friend told me... Let it go.. Just let it go... Don't hold it tightly.. It's will hurt you more deeper..

Thinking what my friend had told me.. Thinking that why I'm so stupid.. Waiting in a love that have no result.. What my friend told me is true... Why don't I just let it go.. This guy had hurt me three times! Why don't I just let it go.. Then I could be free.. Hmm..

It's easy to love.. Also hard to let it go... But think clearly.. It's not really hard to let go too... Just see what's the way you take... I take a easier way for me.. I love you .. I really do... But it just not same as before.. =]

I'm clear with what I walking in now... =]

~~Love is good all the time~~

懂了

对于时间的流逝
感觉自己好像想开很多事情了
慢慢的懂事多了
前阵子
总是把自己困在感情当中
期待会改变什么
但
什么也没改变
期待会发生什么
但
什么也没发生
我还站着干什么呢？
提一提脚
甩甩鞋底
往前踏
就走了丫
常听人说：放手吧，忘了他吧
我会放手
但我不会忘
因这是我回忆里的一部分
我干啥把它忘掉呢？
N年后
我还能回头望望呢

别说
分手了，就不爱了
其实，我还爱你
只是，我会用另外一个方式爱你

两个人的爱情本就该是相爱的
没有一厢情愿或是单相恋
虽说爱情是不求回报的
不过一直对一个不懂你付出的人付出
受伤的总是自己
倒不如
放手
换个方式来爱你

还有
[[我会好好爱自己]]

empty

This year I'm going to sit for my SPM already.. But until now I still feel I'm just empty.. Teacher teaching I sleeping.. Teacher talking I gossip.. What teacher ask us to do I copy from my friend.. ARR!!! If I'm like this how am I going to sit for my SPM?!
I really have put a lot of effort on my study.. I also have try to concentrate while teacher teaching.. But I still get nothing!! I'm empty!! I don't want!! I don't want to fail my SPM!! My BM is weak.. But I've no idea to improve it.. Teacher told the class to do the homework she gave then slowly you can improve your BM.. Bur teacher.. I done it.. But I still don't know how to write a good essay~ Somemore.. My Biology, Chemistry, Physics all also I do NOT know how to do and what it's saying about!
I feel the darkness in front me.. I didn't have the courage to sit for my examination.. I study in the best class.. But I know I more suit to study in the weak class.. I feel stressful in this good class.. All of them get good result in their examination.. But me!! I get the worst, the worstest result in this class!! I feel ashame in this class.. Teacher! Why you don't let me to change my class last year?!! Do you know you make me feel myself are so useless?!!
I really hate to study.. But without my SPM certificate I just can do nothing.. But if i fail my BM, i get the SPM certificate also useless! What am I suppose to do?! I really don't know.. I lost my way.. I only feel the empty upon me..
Whatever.. Nevermind.. I will try.. Try my best.. To not let my SPM fail.. I will let it pass.. Hope I really can!

I'm Okay

i don't know why you guys will know my blog.. i really really no idea why you guys want to read it.. if you feeling not good you can take it as nothing.. i didn't want you or ask you to take it seriously.. i just wrote out my feeling.. i will wrote this kind of thing just because i can't take it anymore.. i just want to vent it out.. if not i really really will be very suffer.. i wrote out my things just because i'm still remember.. i didn't mean want he also remembrance it.. I DIDN'T ASK!! i know you are shooting on me.. but please.. don't misunderstand okay!! all i wrote i'm just mean nothing.. i have no others meaning.. i know you also feeling not good.. but you though i'm feeling good?!! no!!!! i cant put it down!! even i'd try so many time.. i don't know why.. i admit that i really still have feel with him.. but i'm not and didn't asking him to come back my side!! the relationship between he and i are just such good friend.. i will not break this relation with him.. never ever.. i'm content with this relation.. i didn't ask more from this.. i'm enough.. i just want him will remember me.. look me as his good friend then I'M ENOUGH!! really enough.. you do not need to worry about.. you mind at ease.. i will not break this chain.. NEVER!! please leave me away.. don't try to hurt me.. i really really can't take it anymore.. please.. and please let me go well with some.. i'm now very fragile.. please don't hurt me anymore. . . . . . . . . . .

仅属回忆

你～我深爱的人，曾经相爱过，曾经相恋过，却因某些幼稚的原因而分开了…我如此的难过，哭了一遍又一遍，虽是我提起的，但你也却毫不犹豫的答应我…其实你知道吗…我内心是多么希望你会挽回我，我在内心深处呐喊，你却一点也听不见…
如今回想起我们在一起的日子，虽然有吵有泪，但也蛮甜蜜的…在一起的时候，我总是埋怨你不关心我，你不在乎我，但其实，现在想回去，你是多么关心我，多么在乎我。你怕我受伤，所以不让我做危险性的东西…你怕我饿了，所以一直重复的问我吃了没有…你怕我生病，所以一直叫我多喝水，注意饮食，照顾身体。记得有一次，我烫伤了手，你什么都不管的就跑到我身边来，问我怎样了，还叫我把手给你…但那时我却叫你走开，不过其实我心中是多么希望你来关心我，但我也不想让你知道…
有时候，我们还会为了一些鸡毛栓皮的事情吵架…比如，我看见你泡妞，我就和你闹脾气…不然就是，你看见我和另一个男生很要好，你就吃醋不理我…小气，你不知道我是爱你的吗…笨蛋！记得有几次，我们闹得很大，我几乎天天都在哭，连你的兄弟都知道，但你却不知道，我的心都碎了…不过后来，不知怎么搞的，我们就和好了…然后一直在聊，明确说应该是解释，情侣吵架都是双方的不对，所以我们很快就化开了…
你知道吗～我喜欢轻轻地握着你的手，然后睡在你的肩膀。你知道吗～我更喜欢当我说我累了的时候，你就一把的把我拉到你旁边睡在你的肩膀。我喜欢你的很对很多…但我爱你更多更多…
之前分手只因为不够了解你，现在了解了却不能重来…
算了，我写出来并不是想挽回什么，我只是想把我心中的一切说出来，也许，因为这样我就能潇洒的解脱，再也没有遗憾… 但我还是想让你知道，我对你是真的，我很的很爱很爱你。。

天秤女对待感情的态度

这是一个寻求平衡的，总是在天秤两极来回游走的矛盾女子。
她善良、敏感、多疑、细腻、痴情，永远一脸天真灿烂的笑容，有迷人的酒窝，却往往浅浅地陷在一面绯红的脸颊上；她爱美，和谐的、健康的美，她喜欢用镜子窥视每一处肌肤，尤其是对明眸皓齿、雪肌桃面的格外偏好，恨不得发明一张能够挽救青春的面膜，让岁月悄悄藏起来，不留下任何痕迹；人前，她或许沉默得像受伤的小绵羊，静静地抚慰自己，或许开朗得如向日葵，一张笑脸烂漫多情；人后，她享受寂寞，但是长时间的孤独却会让她陷入难以自拔的忧伤境地，一首歌，一部电影，甚至一句话，就能让忧伤化为水晶般的眼泪，并不因极度的痛苦，那只是她排解孤寂的方式；一方面她害怕复杂，总是尽量把事情单纯化，渴望一种回归的生活，另一方面在感慨社会混乱的同时，她自己却优柔寡断，来回掂量看似简单的事情，结果想出一大堆哭笑不得的理由；她自负，也自卑，仅仅是因为不够完美。
对于爱情，初恋是她一生的伤痛，她总是忍下心来忘却，却又忍不下心来放弃模糊的希望。她的异性缘很好，可是她迷惑于为什么总是遇不到合适的，至少不像初恋般那么美好的爱情。所以她一直都望不了他，虽然发誓这辈子不会再为他掉一滴泪。她一直等，等到她决定离开这座城市的时候，也就预示着对他已经彻底死心了。她无法控制相同地域上两个人长久不见面，甚至是像陌生人般感觉不到温暖，所以异地恋对她来说仅仅空想，寂寞时寻找的一个聊天的对象。但她又害怕束缚，尤其是视为生命的自由，当她喘不过气的时候，她就想要逃跑，这是她常用的伎俩。随着时间，她的爱情观会因为社会而变得越来越现实，她清楚的明白面包是爱情的基础，没有面包的爱情迟早会瓦解。天资缜密的理性思维给予了她综合分析能力，她又懂得把女性的感性巧妙融合，所以在爱情的道路上，她会吃一堑，长两智。都说她花心，其实只因异性缘好，说她到处留情，也仅仅是她在拒绝别人的时候害怕给别人伤害。那是源于本身的善良，因为她始终坚信一句话：以善心去对待世间万物，上天会给予你幸福。
对于婚姻，她绝对是一个好妻子，婚姻对她来说是开启后世的幸福之钥，所以她会在结婚这个问题上想得太多，在她看来，可以有不经过大脑的恋爱，却绝对不能有不经过考验的婚姻。如果随便选择另一半，婚后的不快乐会让她崩溃，她的理想状态是和美的家庭。她可以为家庭牺牲自己的事业，做那个男人背后的女人。她极其懂得享受生活，会把一切安排得井井有条。她会是一个好母亲，天生对孩子的喜爱，她可以任劳任怨地做家庭主妇。但所有心甘情愿的前提是，她的丈夫要有责任感，是整个家的经济支柱，乃至精神支柱，如果这一点不能满足她，她宁愿选择流浪，而不是安定。
对朋友，她怀着一颗真诚的心，她讨厌撒谎，讨厌争吵，讨厌不信任，也讨厌懒惰和邋遢，她不喜欢的人，她可以不屑一顾，反正大家各走各的路，互不相干。但对她好的人，她总是不小心会带给别人伤害，其实她不是故意的，只是小孩子脾气在作怪。
她是坚强而又脆弱的人，看似柔弱的外表下面掩藏的是无法估量的刚强，但这样的刚强却需要某些特定的情况下才能爆发出来。她的脆弱体现在对困难的言语上的逃避，实际行为上却还在不断努力。她知道，哪怕只有一点点希望，也要撑下去，不过这样的精神会在有救命稻草的时候崩溃，因为她逃到了避风港里。
她有流浪情节，希望可以去到不同的城市、国度，感受生活，她喜欢奇妙的世界，不愿随波逐流，她希望这辈子好好地活着，至少在有生之年，她是快乐的就已足够。

是天秤的我，看完这帖子，说得真的很像。。